Miami Eye in the Sky and Commonwealth cracks…

Virginia Tech=14Miami=38

He’s doing OUR sign people! One of the very worst street insults there be!

Virginia Tech football just played a nearly full game… better. Not quite good. Not quite pretty good. Pretty well average. Actually…

The Hokies closed much better @Pittsbugh and nearly made it 24 minutes into the Miami contest with a decent amount of “try”, as in trying, at least as best they could for the most part of the first half of play. Though at the first sign of trouble? Once Miami really did thermonuclear start hitting back? Woof! PEACE-out after that. As we wilted on this late autumn afternoon just like a fleshy Summer’s Eve. And guess hoo wants some of our pink-sport come Friday afternoon with nearly 1.5 decades of sporting sexual frustration all pent up with only one place to… go?

A year ago, with 60 sporting minutes and one final year of in-state bitch-ass ownership remaining:

Should get, lei‘ed the spark out!!!

Ahhhhh, okay… I’ll bite here… as the Caucasian guys are clearly throwing my Eye off… so after the Tuaman got Fu’ and Foster both lei’ed in a highly emotionally and yet 100% entirely legitimate cultural moment during pre-game in Lane Stadium, on Senior Day last week… uva just had to do the same?!? Really uva? I mean really?

So by all means, adjudicate me… how many senior hoo’s are Polynesian? Or are these decaf’s just taking a run at Andrew’s cultural heritage here? All those self-uppity credit hours to graduate and yet hoo has NO class at all?

This year with 120 seasonal minutes remaining:
And guess who actually rang the emotional Owens Dining Hall O&M dinner-bell and actually gave the roosing pre-game speech?


Honestly, seemed to me like it did actually work. At least for a little while. At least until ‘Cane in-game adversity uncracked a corker right in the O&M mouf.

Though when you the C.E.O. cock of the walk play this alpha-talk card?

Your dawggs had damn well better… “bark” son!

Game start ¦ end Game:
So there, is too much material here with too little time on this shortened Holiday week. So here is an executive summary of things on the Eye in the Sky So.Beach cutting room floor…

Christian Darrisaw really got things going with the technically legal steal along the Hokie sideline on the opening drive TD. After which we scored precisely .1206 points for every minute of play that remained. And here’s some honestly for yah; this is the first big V.Tech hit that did not jump me right outta my seat.

Others would have me say: “something is just ‘rong here”… my phraseology is… “something rang hollow to me here.”

Then on the next drive, “double decue” Keene landed a pretty good hit of his own (he has a bad left-elbow to boot), and then it was on. As Miami -to their credit- did sack up a bit and enter the fray. As back-n-forth, these to lowercase prospecting heavyweights went. Actually showing some enthusiasm for pitching and catching alike. Right up until one team did, not.

(cringe) YIKES!

In the meantime… Bud was up in the influenza nearly quarantined booth. Way to be a trooper and leading from above Coach Foster. As others, woulda (I.V.) bagged this game… medically speaking; and with good V.T.C.C. infirmary reason(s) mind yah.

Is DAX our very own Boz?

Kinda looks like Brian let his hair actually, grow. And for those of you who Ginko -whatever it’s called, I, forget- for those of you who Ginko who #44 once was… DAX same as Bosworth never meet an extra pad, some extra pasty athletic tape, some kneehigh sock holding Wilson/Muller pro-tack stock sticking spray, some eye-black, or messages on his 12 o’clock strategically placed to actively flap when he runs hand-towel. Very appearance sake and quite an ornate guy, same as the Boz’, style is their thang…

And how ’bout absorbing another opposing Catch of the Year on the back-shoulder Corner Pattern snag for the TD? How many more teams just must land their Catch of the Year punch vs. very tight man-to-man coverage on us? Some days you get the bull and some days you get the horns and we are playing some very horny pass-catchers indeed.

1Q :45 remaining:
Well, not what you wanna see if you actually pocket a real live Y-chromosome. As poor Garbutt pulls his, well, groin and tricks his left-knee out all at once… and the black-n-blue all over Ladler jammed his left-wrist and/or stinger on this play. As the heavyweight punch tide was starting to turn after a very entertaining opening 3 rounds of exchanging back-n-forth hurt-business action.

Four hit and helicopter shortcircuited POWER to the Peoples on this lick. w0w!

game 45 minutes remaining:
So, poor Ry’ Willis opened up with a very deceptive 250.4 Qb rating at the end of the first of four innings of play. If you sat here with me, Eye am the one who told you… “looks like we caught the spraying Ryan today.”

If you read my very words on Will’s pay-side message board post @Duke what did I tell you when everyone else was flurrying about how much they loved Ry’ Wills
vis-à-vis the clearly weaker armed Joshua Jackson?

Eye said… “trust the ex-Flanker in me when I tell you that he {sic: Ry} scares the (bleep) outta me as he’s gonna get someone, killed.” Here came the same dumbass tired-ass “pot stirrers” and “obfuscators” galore…

Well, momma and poppa Peoples see what eye mean.
So does #4 of Miami…
Do, you?

Now, I’m not into adlib smothering, improv’ oppressive, or micromanaging “expected outcomes”. Although nor am I into sissy looking alligator arms. Although me and M.Cole (remember Fs, him); well we ain’t into cervical trauma, either.


And neither are the parents of #11 T.Turner on the very next play!

2Q 4:12 remaining:
Well, here we see a rarefied Te, James Mitchell actual sighting… however, then we see #82 stealing his very own teammate (poor Pfaff) on a relatively gentle enough looking botched/missed crackback hit on the wide-side screen. That kinda year; ain’t it?

3Q 7:14 remaining:
Anyone on top of this in the stands see/verify this? As poor trinary dinged-up Ry’ either slipped on the synthetic mat thingy, or the dippy Ibis mascot winged him on the trip. Either way, he tweaks his left-knee here Kevin Jones vs. J.m.u. style right up against the Lane Stadium wall for bad measure. (Godspeed @Ry’).

3Q 3:55 remaining:
Miami Heat and Ω-dawgg fans say it wif’ me… “SHAQ-FUUUUUUUU!”


As Shaq’ Quarterman the Miami Hurricane star Mike-Lb knocked the piss outta poor Ladler who seems to get the urea knocked outta him about every second or third game give/take. wow! And God Bless nine, as I do not know how he got up from this? Worst received Hokie hit (not named the one below) since Justin Hamilton @Georgia OTech.

And at the end of the punt-return #7 of Miami demolishes our longsnapper who then pinball demolishes the Rico Act himself. As #7 then trapezius Hulk Hogan flexes on us and glowers over our unresponsive sideline.

I do get that most of you were left buzzing by the play below— ^this^, however, was the play that truly sickened me… as poor (now) thrice injured in this game alone Ladler (#9) just lay there, feet if not inches away from Fu’ and Fu’ never once made the trip to see if he was okay?!? Huh?!?


3Q 1:19 remaining:
Well, as an old coach used to say… “you let up | you get blow up”.


Or: “you loaf — they, oaf!”

As Ashby found out the hardest way humanly possible as he spit the bit, and loafed his way downfield to a bakers-dozen of knuckles served right upside his right ear-hole as the Miami Wr ruined him on the crackback hit on The U’s TD reception to the top of your screen. And farnkly speaking -yet again- I’m not sure how our kid got, up?

3Q :00 remaining:
So here is the play that set the V.Tech fanbase on… fire (segue, intended).

The Sound and the… Fury!!!”

As poor Ry’ makes a tough option-pitch-out on a play that was pretty dang well blocked and got very close to the 1st down marker. Admittedly, it is not a simple end-over-end pitch. Nevertheless, when you are down 38-14; what more do you want?!?

On the very next play the now verbally berated Ry’ gets blindside blitzed by boundary-Cb #28 who eats Ry’ up for B, L & D, and then crumb wipes the front of his jersey just to show you how hungry he be.

Then Fu’ orders a Ry’ on Ry’, with a side of Ry’ and a Ry’ to go and eats Ry’ up even… mo’!

4Q 11:36 remaining:
The already dinged up D.Rivers, now ‘backer2, gets his legs cut out from under him along the ‘Cane sideline on this screen play here. As you can see, 44 has a left-wrist splint on, and the whispers had said “ankle” roll here since G.Tech.

WOW, LOL, and… geez!

4Q 7:30 remaining:
Just what Hewitt’s bad ankle did not kneed, as Miami (accidentally) pea-holes or hi-lo’s him on the pin-down block. May St.Nikhon bless 5’s and 4’s alike. A tough thing suffering this terminal contact sport men.

4Q 5:33 remaining:
Then poor Tre Turner comes up right-ankle lame after the sideline flare route on this one. (St.Servatus bless).

4Q 4:15 remaining:
On this one we see Nijman hurt his one remaining good (left)-knee; again. (St.Nikon help!) As his knee instantly folded up and dropped big #69 when #25 of The U unintentionally collapsed him totally prone from behind on the tackle like a dead sack of potatoes. A chilling play… truly. Prolly career ending, too.

4Q 2:00 remaining:
Why is das ‘Cane goosestepping us?!?

Whiskey Tango Schnãps is this?
Nein zer güt fräuleins!

Last year, 4Q :10 remaining:
This ain’t adding insult to injury sports-fans; this is adding injury to injuries; plural!

chain, GANG, 1o1…

As you can say this/that regarding JAX’s and his athletics/metrics or his long-term ceiling/roof, nevertheless, he sure took an ass whooping to end this contest for dear ole V.P.I.

An unnecessary crackback DEFCON 5 one for any Qb1 down three scores with ten ticks left…


This year, 4Q :64 remaining:
UNREAL! And do you see the pattern… here?

“Those who don’t know history are doomed to repeat it.”
-Edmund Burke-

What is our son still doing in the game?!?
-Coach Jackson and JAX’s mum-

We don’t know… either?!!
-Ry’s T&F staring mum and pops-

This is the biggest physical BIG highlight reel hit-a-thon I can recall seeing a nearly limp, flaccid and fleckless Hokie football squad pinch in my lifetime. 4.9 decades worth of watching Hokie football if you need ’em. Mmmm-k?

Knocked the Foxtrot, out!

And the truly queer part you ask?

Well, the truly queer part is that Miami -which has been where sportsmanship goes to die- pretty much landed technically clean, shoulder-first I.C.B.M. city-killer hit after I.C.B.M. city-killer hit again and again and again. Eye did not have the heart, nor the Holiday week time, nor the space to lay them all out for you; either…

In right on 55 hours, how dare you miss Northeastern by one point, Miami by ½ a play, VT by one full play call the Purdue upset, call all three games and then miss the Boilermakers by one shot b.street. You suck, go; home!

THX @Coach God!

Time To Throw (TTT)©:

Virginia Tech:
Qb pressured=6
Qb hurried=1
Qb hits=17

Qb pressured=9
Qb hurried=1
Qb hits=12

6 positives and a neutral in a row from Miami when chasing the chain-gang on the spot of the ball in the second half and we just could not get a stop!

Think about that sports-fans, as when I thought about that I thought I’d never ever seen such a low probability of successful long-down-n-distance conversions strung together. The rule of thumb probability here is ~30% historically. About three in 10 per each individual bad Lo.FM spot. That works out to a phenomenal, to the point of being unique in my career, 0.02187% odds on hitting seven Lo.FM’s to the good. Krazy! Nutty! Or is that less parts Miami’s acumen and more parts letting go the O&M… rope?

And yes, Miami merits some measure of credit there. Though for as valiantly as we opened up? Prince Valient was skirty and all dressed-up as Princess Valient in the end.

Cue: Rico Act jocks, I mean jokes, (_____) here, right?

That being science-fact Coach Spock objectively stated… believe it or not, our pass-coverage is slowly, surely, maybe even incrementally getting just a little bit better. As we only allowed one completion >16 yards vs. that much freaky speed/game-breakers for Da U and how many teams get to say that post-game? (though when tackling let go, it was rope-burnt O&M palms wherever we looked and that tacking grade does not include the 4 missed tackles on the 6-point Hurricane punt-return mind yah)


Longfield Management (Lo.FM)©:

Virginia Tech:
positive: |||| |||| |
Swiss (neutral): |||
negative: |||| |||| |||| |||| (2 INT’s, 1 fumble, 1 Miami flag)

positive: |||| || (1 TD)
Swiss (neutral): ||||
negative: |||| |||| ||| (1 VT penalty, 3 Da U flags)

As you can see the Lo.FM metric paints a narrower picture than the actual history recording scoreboard did.

Well, the Miami Dt’s might as well had been Civil War generals’ or “Stonewall” Jacksons. As they routinely plugged both A-gaps and Jack London or not, sledding was very tough in the Hokie
G-c-G gaps. Running was just a scosche better on the edge although that’s splitting quantum hairs here. 3.8 ypr is not that much when only the offense knows where the play-call says the ball, goes.

To amplify all of that all the more, now mix in the science-fact of merely going 16% on third downs. Now mix in Miami with 12 TFL and 4 sacks which means that 48% of our rushing attempts were on stakes or went backward! Even if that does include four called passes, this side of playing “mean” Joe Green and the Steel-curtian, that’s still completely absurd.

Now, did anyone else catch the clean-snap day we (finally) enjoyed? So 3-cheers for (finally) getting that right. And our catch day was pretty dang tight as well. Though our miss day…

…oh my! God Help! As read above, Ry’ set a new miss day all-time record with a staggering targeting software fail of eleventeen misses on his throws. And we are seriously fortunate nobody got wrecked. Or maybe another way to quantify that is to say… our guys are unwilling to sell out and ride or die to go get the rock? Either way, you were warned pre-season by Coach J.Lennon when he told yah that:  ♬”there’d be days like these…”♪

Now, after opening up with a stunning 250.3 Qb rating, Ry’ had 11 misses and Eye actually went back -as I am feeling sorry for the kid- and I found a generous/inventive way to regrade and actually erased 2 of ’em (he had a triskaidekaphobic 13 to start). Though Peoples -who he got killed; and Tre who he got killed- now both know what Eye mean when I told Will’s pay-message-board that Ry’ scared me to death. This after immediately @Duke. Not after/during hosting Miami. Said I do get why Ry’ makes Fu’ so nervy; Eye really do. 

Strange Days indeed…” and it leaves me wondering if @Duke will be Ry’s high watermark as a Hokie?

On the other side and to the (nearly) breaking-through great… DAX is right on the verge of becoming a real live play-maker, as 67% of his stops was for negative yardage behind the ‘Cane LOS (line-of-scrimmage). Ricky Walker with his best game of pure presence since @F.s.u. prior to his first injury down in Tally. Though Willis, yes, Ry’, Ry’ had more tackles than big Vin Diesel did and with Burke on the shelf, and Porcher IV still pretty dang banged-up himself? That’s no bueno mas Commonwealth amigos.

the takeaway

Hear Fu’ went ALL in on them pre-game. 11 game season. YOU WILL MAKE A STAND TODAY!!!

So we started out well… harder, smarter, tougher… better. And Miami -beyond individual catching heroics- was the enemy of #Smart. As they left 14 easy-peasy simpleton points out on the field (that’s six HR’s missed against us in three weeks mind yah, now imagine if just 4 or 5 of ’em had hit).

We played 24 mins. clean cleaner cleanest on D. NO missed tackles for the opening 80% of the first half of the contest. Sex Panther football if you will… don’t get no better than 100%, right? And Miami was still playing stoopid individual football. All this with a (very) sickly/wounded Bud  Foster coaching -best he could- while totally unhealthy up in the booth.

3:32 pm Saturday!

Then what?

6 missed tackles in as many minutes?

Or in other words… why is this team so adversity, adverse?!?

That’s a lotta things sports fans and #Tough just ain’t one of ’em.

As this team is the Siamese twin of original-school classroom green-slate kissing erasers. As we are chalky all the way. Frontrunners extraordinaire. And that’s all fine-n-dandy when you are never less than stationed potently enough out in the lead. Nobody keeps score, everybody plays, participation trophies and always first-place. (<—-remember this, term)

Though that’s not life. That’s not, football.

No rain no growth.” -Fr. Seraphim Rose-

And yet we and M.Poppins cannot get enough of… umbrellas!


So, riddle me this Mister Southern Gentleman poster-boy and A.D. Whit… this gridiron cultural clean-up in aisle 2018=how, long?

Because Duck Pond is channeling its inner Love Canal as I type. All football things 24060 are really, truly, madly, deeply… toxic right now. Think I’ma stirring the pot? Don’t believe me? Yet, again?

Well, we could just ask the 3 guys who could not wait to play uva… and instead are at home playing with what? And do recall, even the suck Beamer teams were rock throwers. This team?

Well, it’s throwing… up.
And only WINS can fix/validate this.
And if those wins are not R.A.T.T. here until when?
2020? 2021? 2022? How much (more) culture is there to clean up, then?

And this is entirely and efFu’sively why I am the one, the only one… who went outta his way to say that Fu’ was right… “it’s 100%, not the play-calling“. Yah; Roger that, no shite Sherlock. It’s not the coaching, its the clinicality (and a lack of super-star talent that left early or was unsuccessfully, managed). Do you see a pattern here gents?


Whit’ cannot be about looking bad because Fu’ was HIS hire. That’s Pulp Fiction, “that’s pride Foxtring with yah Whit…” He needs to be about his… legacy. And if Fu’ takes Frank’s Family first winning legacy, his 14-year hoo-streak and quarter century bowl-streak right on down the drain at home and goes a nearly perfectly belly-up
1-2018 in Lane on the year; vs. hateful uva?

How much more culture do you expect the fan-base to $upport?

In closing, and although Eye am the only member of the media to rally to the coaching flag post-game vs. Boston College and stand up to the cheapest of all shots that “it’s the play-calling”… I will not stand up for the obverse in same.

As the least expensive top-down shot has always been to bemoan or alibi success per a cry of: “lack of discipline”. Ahhhhhhh, no. And Eye am the on who can prove it, too!

As in my sporting economy of ethos does not add up here… as who’s players spent all spring and summer long social-media parading: “never worked harder”… “nobody is out working us.”???


I mean how much more discipline blood can you squeeze from this 4 win O&M rock when all your ballers agreed you just worked them harder than they had ever been worked before this past summer? What is the next threshold here? As we only had 3 penalties vs. Miami.

“Discipline” as in playing the {sic: lack of} “discipline” card is the oldest and most tired possible coaching copout there is. Dodgeball 1o1.

And oh yes… who exactly is in charge of their “discipline” in the… first, place?

R.A.T.T:... right now Virginia Tech football is, what???

View Results

Loading ... Loading ...


  • Bet the over on Ry feeling the pressure.
  • Bet the over on QVT’s snap-count vs. hooVa.
  • Bet the under on poor Ry’s snap-count from here on out.
  • Bet the over on you’d better get your final french jokes in before 3:30 pm Friday.
  • And then bet the over on just how much all your hoo-friends are gonna joke you Friday nite.

I’ve never been more confident in the Fu’ture of this football program than I am right in this moment.” -Justin James Fuente-

(okay, so I’ll bite…
just how confident would you be  heading into uva had you actually, Miami, won?)

Virginia Tech=14, Miami=38





6 Responses You are logged in as Test

  1. I was really hoping it wasn’t going to get like this. You have hinted at what you were smelling for a few months.

    Can things get turned around or are we inside the Schwarzschild radius?

    1. Thank you!

      I’ll take all the backing I can get.
      As opening Eye’s is a struggle, at best. @most.

      Turned around when?
      This year? Beyond a sloppy uva day?

      I doubt it… (and even then we’d be dead Marshall tired).

      Turned around beyond that?
      If ANYONE is #HST enuff to see it thru?
      Just on “I’ll show them” MY WAY type spite?

      It would be… Justin James Fu’.


        1. It’s not umpossible.
          Odds prolly are dipping down to fiddy-fiddy –or less.

          Though I would not bet my life against Fu’.


  2. “…Now mix in Miami with 12 TFL and 4 sacks which means that 48% of our rushing attempts were on stakes or went backward!” This starts and ends with OL play which was touted as the strength of the team.. FAKE NEWS!!! Say it one last time before this season is put into the books, FuFense requires QB to be THE RB, Evans for all of his one look and drop the shoulder was the perfect QB for Fuente… Even his Graceland Star was discovered to be one single QB due to his college system by the great QB now GM Johnny Elway of Denver/Stanford fame and fortune. The Receiver routes are simple, not complex like Scotty now BC fame. But one question I have as a 336 homer, why didn’t Hooker get a look in Q4, as this game over after QTR 3 of the former. He’s gone post season, but this stubbornness by Queso Grande is leaving a ton of bad taste in the 336 by HS Coaches… not good

  3. FuFense requires QB to be THE RB

    Well, it does need a good option running Qb to really max out the triple-point RPO’s.
    That’s for double sure.

    why didn’t Hooker get a look in Q4
    We the collective Jackson and Willis families have… NO idea?


Comments are closed.