ExtenZe=14 years, boneless=o

Virginia Tech football won and won ugly up @C’ville, Va. two weekends ago thereby retaining the state championship rite to drink abundantly and ceremoniously all night long from the Commonwealth Cup.

The Hokies did not look great in doing so, and to say anything else is to lie; and as we all know… lying is for rugs. Still yet, uva looked even worse in terms of composure, sportsmanship, and gridiron civics. And then the game actually; began. As oui-oui, Tech may have won ugly; although uva was: “dirty, smelly, ugly” as they played like a bunch of catty ass sissies and went scratchy into a now 1.4 decade old, long, hard, night. 3Q 14:24 remaining:
Gaines with a net gain on his Tidewater quarter-horse thoroughbred rivals while dropping the signature swagg or should I say his home state North Carolina digits brag… 2-5-2 street hand-sign on these still dippy London Fog wimps— as Gaines is not even from the 7-5-7 and yet he’s claiming THEIR turf. Too damn funny. (thx @jakewag8).

3Q 8:45 remaining:
IF, you’ve ever suffered this terminal contact sport -as you play, games; and something that offers you the chance at a terminal injury is nobodies game- if you’ve ever suffered this terminal contact sport than you know what I mean when I type that this is the last thing you wanna see…

As Dr. Goforth and company are racing the field -which is a violation, technically speaking- even before the Holston injury blew the game-clock, dead.

The injury itself is partially obscured line-of-sight wise by the dog-pile; still, if you slow it down, it’s clearly a left-knee. Only thing is I’m unable to verify if it gave on the plant or via wrenching/twisting incoming fire? Not saying it was dirty; although it did look like it was right at the echo of the buzzer, as Holston will now learn to never Chuck Foreman spin-move in the A-gap like this again. Godspeed @13 either way.

3Q 1:02 remaining:
Yah; I’d have to say this looks like a plant (right) foot injury to me. As I just can not imagine why you’d kip your plant -weight bearing throwing foot from an orthodox passer- up in the air like this upon delivery after a good cup no pressure throw? Almost like a dog “yelping” in pain; as JAX turned that naked bootleg along the uva sideline up-field at the last second and it sure looked like something gave/buckled on his final foot-fall right as the uva Cb let-up in pursuit. As JAX is a Rolex game-manager Qb, with a 24 qt. Presidential diamond encrusted heart —all of which are attached to a scuffed up looking Timex body.

4Q 11:37 remaining:
F,
‘n,
WOW!

Don’t know how else to say this -as this is prolly technically a penalty being outside the coaching Caucasian-chalk box and all- although this gives new meaning to S&C Coach! As Ben -the Smith rack- Hilgirth unloads, both verbally, and Hulk Hogan flexingly on piss-poor and downright mouthy #3 of hooVa.

Virginia Tech: our training staff can out bench your training staff!!!

virginia: our training staff trips, out, after any INT and goes… fail.

R
O
T
F!

4Q 8:01 remaining:
Somebody FREE Jack Lemmon and Wilfred Brimley and cue up the 1979 nuclear thriller The China Syndrome!!!

As the uva ain’t Beethoven and their decomposing mental meltdown is officially on!

Watch as Wr1, #4 (Dowling) of uva just has to talk total S, to no less than three Hokies, after an incomplete, trailing by 13 years historically and 1.5 plays on the night and just forfeit his damn mind and shove the ailing T.Hill to the ground post-play. Dah-dah comrades, somewhere Vlade Divac may be smiling although if this is what you do after an incomplete pass… what exactly do you do if you had actually made the catch?!? Coach God forbid…

4Q 7:08 remaining:
This is just total, piss-poor, lowlife, S, here folks. I mean it’s bad enough that you suck as a program, as a team, and as people by-n-large, however, must you #9 reach under poor Pfaff’s facemask and F’n eye-gouge him? Whiskey Tango Foxtrot is this?!?

Praise be to St.Helen (Patronesses of Eyesight); I’ve been blind before, see; and this is not a penalty, this is an automatic ejection and possible seasonal suspension type offense. As this terminal contact sport is lethal enough -just ask Virginia Tech’s very own Michael Cole’s neck- accordingly, nobody needs to add injury to insult and fingernail another man’s orb(s) such as this. What a downright yellow-belly kinda play; geez; unreal; (and God Bless seven-four).

4Q 5:52 remaining:
Really like how none other than coach-Fu’ and Big Ben (again); laid hands on ballers here! On Hokie ballers mind you and basically saved no less than five boohoos from getting their asses kicked by two Hokies (Teller and McClease) in this case. When Teller is locked, cocked and ready to rock; he’s basically a Fall Semester co-op for American Electric Power; and McClease, well McClease is a human barracuda playing Rb. Good luck if you wanna (bleep) with them.

Seriously, did someone not write at halftime on TSL’s pay side that the zebras really needed to get this one back under control early in the 3Q or this one was gonna get outta hand —if not downright erupt. As this one was truly teetering on the brink of an ugly bench clearing spillage after the attempt on Pfaff’s eyesight here.

Time To Throw (TTT)©:

Virginia Tech:
Qb pressured=6
Qb hurried=1
Qb hits=1o
Sacked=nil.

virginia:
Qb pressured=13
Qb hurried=1
Qb hits=11
Sacked=3

As you can see in the Lo.FM metric, Virginia Tech correctly won; and won a low-scoring, unattractive game by modern basketball on grass standards.

Nonetheless, Virginia Tech and coach Foster just set an all-time tackling efficiency mark  to my knowledge, as the only way to better one missed tac’ is to play a perfectly clean game; and the next time I see that will be the first. The Vice Squad also chalked up a very impressive and Eye opening whopping 47, that’s forty-freakin’-seven positively graded blocking plays. (READERS note: now imagine that objective blocking integrity out in front of say a R.Williams, or a D.Wilson. Or even trench fighting for Cy.Lawrence or Roscoe Coles… though I, digress…)

Now to be perfectly fair, the Vice Squad’s blocking did wain -if not lull a bit- for a couple of 3rd quarter possessions… Bud Bøck did miss one coverage rotation with Newsome, we did drop one pass, our O&M Qb1 purple heart recipient did miss one throw, and we did miss a very makeable FGA… other than that?

Well other than that… all play and no work makes Jack a lull boy and Hokie techosterone came to work and work hard in the final 20-22 odd minutes of scrumming.

As clearly uva is where testes go to die and there is just not enough estrogen therapy in the world to prevent Virginia Tech from going lullaby on uva once again.

the takeaway…

As you already know, because someone made sure it says so up above… this is the Virginia Tech (revenue) sports website “…where real men congregate and speak truth to the power.”

Thing is… this is a pretty powerless looking limp noodle hooVa squad upon breaking tape, less about four or five talented ballers, 21 minds, and that is precisely your 7-5-7 catch-44 for the day.

Seriously folks, this is about as slappy, girly, catty and sissy of a ending as I’ve seen since the last uva ending I saw. I mean -and to be perfectly honest- Virginia Tech had not broken 24 points on what someone had called a very: “limited” offense in a month.

Virginia Tech was only averaging 326 yards of total O and 17 points per game in the last two fortnights of play. As it would have only taken 11 points in this M.L.B. looking game to put Virginia Tech down and to end the streak right here; and yet you uva.edu big-mouth sporting dilettantes got shut out? LOL!

Or in other words, B.O.H.I.C.A. uva decaf’s, in approximately 11 more Commonwealth months, here it comes again.

***

Now, as a writer who never really strives for balance –in lieu of calling it like Jesse the Body’s “right down the middle- I suppose if I just had to say something good about uva, I’d say… well, their Qb Kurt Benkert throws pretty dang tight pass under pressure. About as good as I’ve seen on tape in several years at such. And uva did also field talent at Wr1, Mike-Lb, Ss, and right-De. 80% of which rides bitch –seriously, and you could just see poor Benkert literally suffering in his body-language upon breaking tape. And not that I’m a big K.B. fan; although to not feel for the guy –at least a little bit- is to lack compassion. Even rivalries’ sans i.s.i.s need compassion; on, occasion.

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Nevertheless, this is the 14^th annual occasion for O&M celebration in in-state terms and even if both clubs do R.A.T.T. take a step backwards next season due to eligibility expiration(s)  and/or looming Sunday bank slip departure(s)…

Virginia Tech football has gotta be the rightful betting favorite at home in November 2018 A.D., and likely gonna be the point-spread fave for several years to come.

So Coach God willing, I’ll see you there, where we shall all once more gather ‘round
and drink from the VicTorious Commonwealth Cup.

Virginia Tech=Ten, virginia=zip

“LETS GO!”

“Hokies!”

bourbonstreet**