Virginia Tech=42, Austin Peay=7

What happened?

Let’s see … a sticky script, elbow, foot, knee, an oLine that is not that much of an upgrade, a lack of stud ***** esque Tb talent, Read option mega traffic jam of congestion as we have nobody including our Qb who is suited to laterally spread the field to the outside when we run not named J.C.C. and a very sleepy 2.25 day short work week to top all of that off. That and A.Peay -to their credit- held the ball for 6 minutes longer than mighty Vee.Tee did in the first-half of play which made the first-half seem all the more offensively unenthused, an early Fall yawning festival, a stuck snooze button, or time to simply catch some out-of-conference ZZZZZZZZZZZZ’s.

“All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy.”

That said, there are some bona-fide offensive concerns and somebody has got to put some Shine on that pig. However, as someone had been preaching all spring and August Camp long, we are in the midst of 12 remaining winning quarters of football with which to sort said offensive concerns out. Or so the official Vah.Tech party-line mantra hopes…

…right now I am concerned that these offensive foibles might just be more than that. However, I am willing to reserve official judgment on that until after we take our first L of the season –because how much pragmatic harm has this offense done so long as we remain perfect? The defense is killer good and special teams are improving as I type. Is that enough is the B.C.S. question?

Now, do be clear what we just did, we just fashioned 96 yards rushing outta our likely Top-4 runners this season vs. the D-1aa shantytown otherwise known as Austin Peay. As we netted 71 yards on Wr carries men! That’s code for getting a buck-sixteen (116) outta our real live 2012 ball-carries. Which is actually code for getting 84 on the ground once you subtract out the 32 yards gained on the final two carries of the afternoon vs. the third-string beat-down defense of the lower than low Ohio Valley doormat likewise known as D-1aa Austin Peay. You concerned yet? Yah; me too…

…still as I said above, I’ma gonna wait until we are beaten before going all orange and maroon DEFCON-1 on the whole shebang. And yet, in case you are keeping score at home, I am no longer on DEFCON-5, either. The 1980’s General Beringer W.O.P.R. war-computer and I are both jus’ sayin’………

1^st quarter, 13:00 remaining:
What in the “Wide wide world of sports” is our left-hand gunner (Tweedy) doing on this one? If he got hurt, I’ll recant this below –ok? If he is trying to avoid the trick-hop of the oblong spheroid I’ll give him props. Because if he was following the shadow of the football, and somehow went “duck duck, GOOSE!” and followed it right on outta bounds on this shanked A.Peay punt; he will nevvvvver, and I do mean never ever hear the end of this joking inside the Virginia Tech film room. Remember, the film-room is the final bastion or real men-speak that knows nothing about being P.C. or purely chicken when it comes to anything. As everything and I do mean everything is fair game in there. ROTFLMAO! (big PIC link)

1^st quarter, 12:48 remaining:
Chase Williams did not have a good day folks and this virtual block in the back steal by #47 of A.Peay did not help Chase’s feelings one iota. I like Chase, he is a really kool guy. Although #36 was a step slow or to put it another way he was a step outta place in relief of B.Taylor at ‘backer on Saturday as his mind appeared to be tying up his feets for most of the afternoon.

Also, I wanna give credit where credit is due; as I’d love to see a pancake or knockdown block count on A.Peay for Saturday as they were spilling Hokies left and right –be that clean or otherwise…

1^st quarter, 9:20 remaining:
This was actually a scripted Qb-draw (of all things) for Logan Thomas. This is also the play where he injures his right-leg when #99 combines to go hi-lo and collapse LT3 from behind. It looks to me like LT3 got his right-foot caught up in the Worsahm Field turn on this one so we now have that to go along with his right-elbow from August camp. And suddenly you are left wondering when LT3 will put it all together and make things right. Or will this be something of a junior-season slump. Note however it is not LT3’s passing metrics that bear this out. They are virtually identical to 2011. It is actually his rushing yardage that is off by more than 300%.

1^st quarter, 4:32 remaining:
Talk about a steal! WOW! Hate to have to break it to all of you, as I know it’s not what some of you wanna read. Though this is the biggest steal I’ve seen a Hokie absorb since J.Hamilton got his hat handed to him down at Georgia Tech years ago. Just watch Exum and then watch #1 going flying by left-to-right on your screen as the right-Ot of A.Peay simply pwned poor Exum on this one. Dangnation, gotta give ‘twaun credit for getting up after getting his chin checked like this. It takes a thick beard to aboard this kinda punishment and live to tell the tale.

Note as well that A.Peay plum “got after” mighty Vah.Tech all day. Some of this was clean, some not as much – as this was a Nick Saben ‘esque exceptionally aggressive D-1aa football team. That was part of why this game looked so suspect all day long. A.Peay was the team that was physically governing things out there on Saturday afternoon men.

1^st quarter, 2:44 remaining:
When Brent Benedict engages you he takes to you more than just the alter. He takes you to the whipping-post and if you don’t believe me ask Aunt Jemima. As Brent ordered and entire stack of pancakes and then force feed them to poor 5`9“ #44 of A.Peay on this pulling trap-block on the kick-out outside the 4-hole on this off-tackle touchdown jaunt by M.Holmes for six. Brent Benedict asks no quarter and he shows no mercy while simply mugging #44 on this one. Talk about your milk-money bully; when Bret Benedict asks for you two quarters you hand him a dollar and go ahead and beat you best-buddy up for his 50¢ just in case.

1^st quarter, 2:38 remaining:
For you pure armchair Qb X’s and O’s buffs, note the base 4-3 defense in the extremely short-side over-shift mode that can be used to over-play a forthcoming short-side carry or to force the wide-side issue and bait-n-switch and opposing offense into rushing outside when you have rather diligent Linebacking or second-layer pursuit based speed. (big PIC link)

2^nd quarter, 6:17 remaining:
Dangnation. Note the embarrassment of injuries on poor ‘drew Miller #74 at Center for Virginia Tech. Bad left (non-snapping) hand, bad left shoulder (see the big new shoulder harness?)  Now just cringe and watch as his day comes to an end in the so-called “dog-pile” on this goaline carry by #20. Notice that it is Miller’s right-side that is accidentally collapsed via blocking down the line-of-scrimmage from Brent Benedict. Then for bad measure, Painter lands on top of all of that as Logan Thomas attempts to help Miller back up and onto his feet (Miller did remain in the game for 1-snap). YIKES and Coach God bless on this one indeed.

2^nd quarter, 5:35 remaining:
Note the M.Branthover 10 step pace-off, 6-step walk-up and basically 3 step kick. Guess what? This was a short or coverage kickoff per the new rules (as opposed to trucking full-speed for all 9-10 steps for distance max) Now you know what to look for when you play Virginia Tech. Football still ain’t rocket-surgery folks.

2^nd quarter, 0:26 remaining:
Amazing what just the little block downfield can do. On this particular play, it is the modestly successful block from Randall Dunn that springs Corey Fuller for six. Note the block from #9 was nothing brutal. It was not a peel-back, it was not a crack-back, it was not a shield-block it was not a stalk-block and nor was it any other version of Wr blocking that this old-school Flanker is familiar with. Dunn did not get much of a hit on the Safety from A.Peay; although things happen so fast at full speed that it does not take much to spring a track-n-field star by trade –like #83 Corey Fuller- for six points.

Season Duration superlatives (thus far):
Couple P.A.T.T.y wagon things I wanna throw at you and see if they stick … as I’ve been really impressed with the following:

• D.Hop: dood is playing his ass off in the inside. This is a second or third team all-A.c.c. pace. Don’t believe me, ask the tackling statistics. When was the last time a Bud Stoudt Dt finished second in stops? Scott Hill?
• Gee.Dub: or Mr. Winslow. Who is only third in stops his ownself. Talk about a far cry from 2010. Damn yo’! Have you ever seen a Linebacker improve this much in three years? Gee.Dub may not be the pure negative yardage play-making Whip – though he is (now) basically a mistake free Whip who makes some stops on the positive side of the line-of-scrimmage despite some power-based limitations as his leverage and confidence have both improved. Not sure I’ve ever seen a Tech starter go from basically an F- all the way up to a dead solid C+++.
• Ryan Mallack: I’ve not seen a first year (r-soph.) starting Te dislodge this many people this far off the LOS (line-of-scrimmage) since the days of Jeff King. 4 catches in basically 6 quarters of football does not suck.
• Kyshoen Jarrett: Kay.Jay is tackling better than I expected now compared to last year when his run-fighting skillz were not so advanced as his coverage was in 2011 terms. And he is bringing some pain when he gets there with 2 big hits in 2 weeks time. Kyshoen, I was ‘rong.
• Pass-blocking: I’m not too perturbed by the 4 sacks allowed. One was a counting error, one as a rookie Tb learning how to D-1 man-up. One was a slip and the other? Well we just got plain beat by the Georgia Tech right-De on that. However, we are also very skimpy on old-school scratch-marks for: Qb pressures, Qb hurries and Qb hits when LT3 is a pure pocket passer. (more on this in part II and Time To Throw)

Long-field Management (Lo.FM):©
Virginia Tech:
positive=|||| |||  (1 VT TD, 1 AP penalty)
negative=|||| ||  (1 VT penalty)
neutral=||

Austin Peay:
positive= |||| ||  (1 AP TD, 1 VT penalty)
negative=|||| |||| |||| ||  (2 VT INT’s, 1 AP penalty)
neutral=|||| |||| |

     I’m presuming by now that you guys have figured out just how vital of an game predictor the Lo.FM and the TTT metrics truly are. Just look at the scratch-marks above and it is easy enough to divine who won the actual football game blind. Though and per always, there is more meat on the bone than that.

Note that the VT offense only finished +1 on Longfield Management situations. My word for that would be “uneven”. As “uneven” fits vs. most of the A.c.c. teams we play. Vs. a sucky and small-time Ohio Valley Conference team however? Not so much. Although, all in the same breath, note that LT3’s INT percentage this season still equals zero. Also note that Virginia Tech only faced a mere paucity of 17 Lo.Fm yardage situations whereby the Virginia Tech offense was chasing the sticks. And only one of those 17 was self inflicted via a O&M penalty whistled against. That’s not half bad when you empty the bench and things do tend to get sloppy indeed.  That’s check-box Mike O’Cain at his very best. However, this is a very heterogeneous offense – and that has me homophobic indeed. Stay with me, this one is gonna get really deep…Marianas Trench deep, even coming from me…

***

I’m already seeing a lotta web chatter about how well Virginia Tech adjusted vs. little ole Austin Peay in the second half and how the Hokie misdirection or counter based offense really opened things up. I kan’t even type out what I really wanna say on that though it’s pretty similar to horse (bleep). Listen, if you have to alter your powerhouse plan of attack to out fox the last place team in the Ohio Valley Conference who fields borderline AAA or AAAA sized high school kids up front –then you Sir have a problem. And you have a problem for which the remaining 4 teams ranked 32^nd or better in Total Defense that we have yet to face will show you no mercy. Good thing we dodge the 9^th ranked total defense otherwise known as Maryland; huh?

That attempt at lightening the mood and comedic relief aside, and accordingly; even the biggest double-half-full P.A.T.T. in the TSL land has to be at least a scosche concerned when you are blocking the 1o9^th ranked D-1aa defense that fields a starting 233 pounder, a 257 pounder and a 264 pounder upfront –and you can not whip their little ole F.C.S. ass right at the point of attack? I’m not supposed to be concerned by that? Can I be just a little bit concerned? Please? Are you sure? Mmmmmm-k.

Right now the twenty-twelve Hokie offense reminds me of how a certain 3o4 girls and trailer-park saying goes; Yes, yes indeed, you can take the power outta the Frank yet you kan’t spread Frank out. (hint: second-half when we opened it up vs. first-half when our high voltage approach fizzled out) As this surely is one heterogeneous offense. Stick with me, read this part at least twice…

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Apples to Oranges:
First of all, we have several powerhouse kinda talents at our offensive disposal. LT3, M.Scales, B.Benedict, M.Davis, R.Mallack, J.Phillips, and Miller is mean enough to toe the powerhouse line. So we put them all in the game together  at the very same time and we have what? 54% voltage percentage or 6/11 as power based kids go.

Now, secondly, we do have some speed to spread things out, we have tons of it at Wr as t-freshmen and r-freshmen go. So that’s 2 maybe 3 guys if we go 3 wide. We have J.C. Coleman and even the rebuilt Gregory –who to his enormous double-helix credit, can still jet at Tb. We have Painter and we have Bec’s who are actually rather nimble and fairly athletic. Again, that’s 6/11 or 5/11 depending upon how we choose to line-up. Frank’s nothing if not a traditional, so let’s go Pro or Pistol with 2-wide or 45%.

Now, thirdly, note that we have several ‘tweeners in our starting offensive line-up or regularly seen out of our substitution matrix. They can do a little bit of both — yet shy away from the extreme on each end. D.Wang, M.Via, M.Holmes, D.Roberts all comes to mind as Heinz 57 variety sauce players as do a couple of others off of the Coach Sherman bench if we need ‘em. So that’s basically 36% as ‘tweeners go in the starting offensive huddle already. Or, to put it in South Park terms when you add it all up, “…half man, half bear, half pig.” Or a very heterogeneous offensive mix no matter how you slice it and that leaves the 2012 offensive staff with some very dicey carving indisputably indeed. An apple a day or Clockwork Orange? I don’t know? However, I do know that O’Cain and Stiney really do have a very interesting X’s and O’s season in front of them with so very many jigsaw puzzle ‘esque square-peg and round-hole heterogeneous offensive parts –that none of which sum up to equal 11.

And yet in closing, somebody has an moral obligation to make sense here…however how much sense do you expect me to make outta so many ill-matched offensive parts? For a change, and for nearly the very first time ever in fact … this is the one time that this one is not so much on the Virginia Tech offensive staff,  as it is on the Virginia Tech offensive parts. Therefore. Coach O’Cain and Coach Stiney have some rethinking to do. As they do not have the 5×5 powerhouse oLine to fully fund the play-calling they had in place vs. Austin Peay in the first-half every bit as much as they do not have enough sprinters to spread things out and win a track-meet down in Death Valley or home for F.S.U. Such is the inherit nature of mix-n-match football when forced into a game of catch as catch can or Catch-22.

“LETS GO!“

“Hokies!“

bourbonstreet**